Recent Articles
Tzav 2012 – Thanksgiving in March
Raboyseyee and Raboyseyettes: Thanksgiving in March: Oy vey: the Oisvorfer is a shtikel under weather with a farshtupta kup (stuffed head) and is unable to produce his usual pearls of wisdom. Accordingly this week’s Toirah will be quite short and you’ll have to find other reading material, which unfortunately many of you have in the [...]
Vayikro 2012 – Korbonois
Raboyseyee and Raboyseyettes: Korbonois: Sparks Notes version The fun and games are over. No more (for a while anyway) salacious stories about Moishe being swallowed by a snake, about Yoisef and eishes Potiphar, Dina and Shechem, Loit and his two daughters, Yehuda and Tamar, Yoicheved and her merry go round husbands, Yitzchok marrying a three [...]
Vayakhel & Pikuday: The Chastity Belt
Raboyseyee and Raboyseyettes: The chastity belt: כב וַיָּבֹאוּ הָאֲנָשִׁים, עַל-הַנָּשִׁים; כֹּל נְדִיב לֵב, הֵבִיאוּ חָח וָנֶזֶם וְטַבַּעַת וְכוּמָז כָּל-כְּלִי זָהָב, וְכָל-אִישׁ, אֲשֶׁר הֵנִיף תְּנוּפַת זָהָב לַיה. 22 And the men came, on the women, as many as were willing-hearted, and brought nose-rings, and ear-rings, and signet-rings, and girdles, all jewels of gold; even every man that brought [...]
Ki Sisa 2012 – To Great Women: A Dedication
Raboyseyee and Raboyseyettes: To great women: a dedication: In a week where we celebrate the courage of Esther Hamalka to share her jewels, if you chap, I thought we’d give a shout-out to other women of valor who played a role in this week’s heylige Parsha. One year ago this Shabbis, I added a proper [...]
Purim 2012 – Special Edition
Raboyseyettes and Raboyseyee: Homon: the comeback kid. Question: which Jewish holiday features an open bar with plenty to drink, beautiful women, heroes, villains and other colorful characters, extramarital sex and grand feasts? Welcome to the great and magical holiday of Purim, which, according to some, will be the only Yom Tov the Yiddin will continue [...]
Tetzave 2012 – Haute Couture
Raboyseyee and Raboyseyettes: Haute couture: This week’s Toirah is dedicated to my nephew Daniel. May he recover fully and speedily. Winter is just about over and it’s time to start thinking about the spring collection. This week, the RBSO dedicates kimat (nearly) half of Parshas Tetzave to the unveiling of the first ever designer [...]
Teruma 2012 – Wood Forever
Raboyseyee and Raboyseyettes: Wood forever: Long before the Amazing Race and any of its forerunners, the RBSO created its first ever iteration. Indeed the RBSO- like He did everything else- invented the first ever Scavenger Hunt and it happens right here in this week’s heylige Parsha of Teruma. Nu, mistama you think that the Oisvorfer [...]
Mishpotim 2012 – Toirah With Details
Raboyseyee and Raboyseyettes: Toirah with details: As we get deeper into Sefer Shmois, we’re seemingly done with reading all about our beautiful heritage, about Noiach and his mishpocho, Loit and his daughters, the heylige Ovois and their foibles, the more or less than admirable and heylige shvotim and their mischief and the rest of our [...]
Yisroy 2012 – Of Weddings and Divorce
Raboyseyee and Raboyseyettes: Of Weddings and Divorce: Nu, the big moment has arrived. It’s in this parsha where the Yiddin will get married to the RBSO, receive the heylige Toirah and quickly find out that a good number of their relationships are Ossur- verboten- kaput- over! No more marrying two sisters, no re-marrying an ex-spouse [...]
Bishalach 2012
One more reminder to those within walking distance of either Beth Sholom or YILC: Both Shuls are having Scholars in residence this coming Shabbis. Raboyseyee and Raboyseyettes: Paroy: soft and hard Nu, just last week, we learned that the RBSO had rachmunios (mercy) on the Yiddin and decided to redeem them from slavery after but [...]
