Author Archive: The Oisvorfer

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Chukas & Bolok 2020 – Hookers, Harlots & Going Out with a Bang!

Raboyseyee and Ladies, Hookers, Harlots & Going Out with a Bang! Let’s begin with a shtikel Rambam where in (Hilchos Ishus 1:4) he tells us azoy: “Before the Toirah was given, when a man would meet a woman in the marketplace, and he and she desired, he could give her payment, engage in relations with […]

Koirach 2020 – Death to the Protestors & Moishe Accused of Murder!

Raboyseyee and Ladies, We begin with a plug and shtikel appeal. While hundreds of radicals are busy demolishing historical statues, burning down buildings and otherwise wreaking havoc, over in Los Angeles, CA the Oisvorfer’s daughter, Alex Grossman, works with a very talented, effusive and energetic gentleman by the name of Rabbi JJ Duchman who is […]

Shelach 2020: Does Forgiveness Come With, or Without Punishment?

Raboyseyee and Ladies,   Does Forgiveness Come With, or Without Punishment? Let’s begin with the plague of 2449.  The plague of when? Is the title referring to a plague to occur 429 years from now? Or, does it refer to plague that occurred on our lunar calendars back in the year 2449, some 3,331 years […]

Bihaloischo 2020: A Good Piece of Meat

Raboyseyee and Ladies, A Good Piece of Meat Dictionary.com lists the following definitions for the well known idiom ‘piece of meat’: – a person regarded merely as a sex object; a person, as a prizefighter or laborer, regarded merely as a strong or useful physical specimen. Avada we all know what the expression means while […]

Nosi 2020 – Social Distancing in 2448

Raboyseyee and Ladies: Social Distancing in 2448: Back in the year 2448 or efsher in 2449, the Yiddin found themselves –post eygel massacre- wandering about in the midbar. Efsher they already knew –but perhaps not, ober zicher the RBSO knew- that the miraglim (scouts) would be speaking loshoin horo (badmouthing) about the Promised Land and […]

Shovuis 2020: Noah’s Ark & Corona Virus

Raboyseyee and Ladies: Noah’s Ark & Corona Virus   How these two are related, we shall soon find out as the Ois treats you to his own pshat. Ober, let’s begin here. The Moshiach might finally be on the way.  And the Oisvorfer knows this how? Because mamish this past Friday, a small miracle occurred, […]

Bamidbar 2020: I’ve Have Had It Up To Here!

Raboyseyee and Ladies: I’ve have had it up to here! In the year 2448, just days after the Yiddin left Mitzrayim a certain individual uttered the words ‘I’ve had it up to here.’ And if those weren’t his exact words, they were certainly meant convey that message. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, the term “had […]

Behar Bichukoisai – Lag B’Oimer & Corona 2020

Raboyseyee and Ladies: The Naked Rabbi & His Naked Son.   Who are these naked rabbis? We shall soon find out, ober let’s begin here. In hyntige tzeytin (in today’s times), were we to hear about a naked rebbe and his naked son hanging out together for over a decade, we would immediately label them […]

Emor 2020: Monstrous Murder Hornets In The Years 2448 and 5780

Raboyseyee and Ladies: Monstrous Murder Hornets In The Years 2448 and 5780: Shoin, just when we thought the worst is over, or about to be, with this farkakte killer corona virus, and that we can enjoy the outdoors with little to worry about, the entire world is buzzing with a new threat. And just when […]

Achrei Mois Kidoishim – Corona 2020: Make-Up Doubleheaders

Just yesterday (some 13 years ago) we attended Ezra Kwestel’s bar mitzvah and today we begin with the very exciting news that Ezra is now engaged. OMG, and a big mazel-tov to Ezra and to his kallah Elana Lefkowitz. Exactly how all this went down during these challenging times, ver veyst, ober, we excitedly share […]