Author Archive: The Oisvorfer

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Nosi 2020 – Social Distancing in 2448

Raboyseyee and Ladies: Social Distancing in 2448: Back in the year 2448 or efsher in 2449, the Yiddin found themselves –post eygel massacre- wandering about in the midbar. Efsher they already knew –but perhaps not, ober zicher the RBSO knew- that the miraglim (scouts) would be speaking loshoin horo (badmouthing) about the Promised Land and […]

Shovuis 2020: Noah’s Ark & Corona Virus

Raboyseyee and Ladies: Noah’s Ark & Corona Virus   How these two are related, we shall soon find out as the Ois treats you to his own pshat. Ober, let’s begin here. The Moshiach might finally be on the way.  And the Oisvorfer knows this how? Because mamish this past Friday, a small miracle occurred, […]

Bamidbar 2020: I’ve Have Had It Up To Here!

Raboyseyee and Ladies: I’ve have had it up to here! In the year 2448, just days after the Yiddin left Mitzrayim a certain individual uttered the words ‘I’ve had it up to here.’ And if those weren’t his exact words, they were certainly meant convey that message. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, the term “had […]

Behar Bichukoisai – Lag B’Oimer & Corona 2020

Raboyseyee and Ladies: The Naked Rabbi & His Naked Son.   Who are these naked rabbis? We shall soon find out, ober let’s begin here. In hyntige tzeytin (in today’s times), were we to hear about a naked rebbe and his naked son hanging out together for over a decade, we would immediately label them […]

Emor 2020: Monstrous Murder Hornets In The Years 2448 and 5780

Raboyseyee and Ladies: Monstrous Murder Hornets In The Years 2448 and 5780: Shoin, just when we thought the worst is over, or about to be, with this farkakte killer corona virus, and that we can enjoy the outdoors with little to worry about, the entire world is buzzing with a new threat. And just when […]

Achrei Mois Kidoishim – Corona 2020: Make-Up Doubleheaders

Just yesterday (some 13 years ago) we attended Ezra Kwestel’s bar mitzvah and today we begin with the very exciting news that Ezra is now engaged. OMG, and a big mazel-tov to Ezra and to his kallah Elana Lefkowitz. Exactly how all this went down during these challenging times, ver veyst, ober, we excitedly share […]

Tazria – Metzora – Covid 19 2020: The Zoom Room

Raboyseyee and Ladies: We begin with some givaldige news. As the Oisvorfer is putting the finishes touches of this week’s posting, he is zoomed into the wedding of Daniel Stroh who will –as soon as the kallah stops circling him – be marrying his beautiful bride Miriam Wilson, she the daughter of Devorah and Nosson […]

Mazel Tov – Special Announcement!!!

SIMAN TOV & MAZEL TOV!!!! Mamish moments after tonight’s posting went out, and in these dark times, a new light began to shine. The heylige Ois and eishes chayil are very excited to announce that their children Zachary and Ariella Grossman gave birth to a baby boy. Actually, only Ariella gave birth but the Zachmeister […]

Erev Pesach 2020 – Stimulus: Deserving and Not!

Raboyseyee and Ladies: Stimulus: Deserving and Not! In this abbreviated –by Oisvorfer standards- Erev Pesach posting, once again, in lieu of a parsha review, you will instead be treated to another rant. Who’s the target this week? You will find out in the paragraphs to follow. So happens that Parshas Shmini is being usurped by […]

Corona – Parshas Tzav – Shabbis Hagodol 2020

Raboyseyee and Ladies: How Certain Rabbis, Rebbes, Others With Beards & Followers Are Causing Undue & Unnecessary Stress During These Very Stressful Times: an Oisvorfer rant! We begin by wishing a hearty mazel-tov to Rabbi Dovid Libman, he the rebbe –everyone’s rebbe- who taught all three of the Oisvorfer’s boys back in the day, and […]